We walked hand in hand down Wright Avenue headed toward her home after a visit to the Five & Dime. I treasured my visits with Grandmom. Her hand was gnarly and warm, securing me somehow in decades of wisdom and life lived that I would not understand for many decades of my own. I guess on some level I knew her street of row homes was unsafe now, that her longtime homestead where she raised her family had become a place that sold dark—filled with poverty, broken families, addictions, violence, racial tensions, and a lack of hope.
But when Grandmom walked down that street, heads of all colors looked up and spoke reverently: “Hi, Mrs. H!”
And her response? She’d know them by name and say: “Hey, Willis, how is your mother doing?” She showed them respect.
From what I remember, she absolutely felt confused and disheartened by the changes on her street—maybe at times even a little scared (she’d been mugged twice in her elder years). But she absolutely chose to stay, to not tremble or cower, and…
…to love.
As we started approaching a scene of a young teen couple arguing, and the boyfriend was punching his pregnant girlfriend in the stomach, I remember my grandmother not shying away from it. She didn’t move to the other side of the street. She walked us right past them. I honestly can’t recall if she had words in those moments or not. She may have. But as she approached, the Light of Christ she carried with her was enough to settle down the violence going on. He looked as though he had been caught in something and wore a look of shame. I had never seen anything like it. I was not more than a 10 year old child at the time, but
that scene has never left me.
I have no idea what happened after we passed. He could have gone after my grandmother for witnessing that, but he didn’t. He could have justified his own behavior by continuing to beat his girlfriend. I really don’t know. What I do know is that he could not keep offending when my grandmother was on the street.
Could not.
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Tags: 2 corinthians 4:6, created for good works, espressos of faith, Holy Spirit, illuminate Christ, John 1:4-9, John 8:12, let you light shine before others, light in the dark, light of Christ, light of life, light of the world, light shines in the darkness, matthew 5:14-16, relationship with God, shine out darkness, shining God's light, spiritual warfare, walking with God
The other morning my tween daughter came downstairs to report her difficult time getting to sleep the night before. She had recently sold her daybed to make her bedroom more of a study/hangout pad. Knowing my husband was in the middle of creating what is currently transitioning from a fictitious to real full-size loft bed for my oldest son, she figured that eventually his woodworking gift would benefit her as well, so she settled into decorating the top bunk of my younger son’s room to be more chickie-like, assuming the room-share situation would be tolerable in the short term.
As it turned out, she was wrong.
My youngest son (who struggles to turn his mind off at night) had recently started listening to a relaxation CD. (I had listened to it first to make sure it wasn’t sending him subliminal messages to eat cookies in the middle of the night, find inner peace in his belly button, or pretend he could fly like a superhero. Thankfully, it had passed my test.)
What I wasn’t thinking about on my dry run with the CD was what such a “tense-it-up-now-relax-it” storyline would do to someone without anxiety.
Yeah, I didn’t think about that at all.
As I set out breakfast, my angst-ridden daughter vented about her experience with the CD, up-bunk the night before from my son who was getting his calm on—
—and it wasn’t pretty.
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Tags: advice, anxiety, counsel, discernment, God's wisdom, godly counsel, Job, Job 42, Job's friends, listening to God, Psalm 32:8, Psalm 81:10, relationship with God, relaxation CD, the way you should go, unwanted advice, wrong advice
I came home the day before Mother’s Day from a long-overdue visit with a friend. We had a lovely time as she introduced me to her favorite chocolate shop in Cambridge. I enjoyed an iced milk chocolate (yes, indeedy—that specific!) mocha with the purest chocolate I’ve ever tasted. It slid down my throat like silky cocoa sweetness with a “Yippee!” as it landed. It was vacation in a cup.
We tooled around a bit, stopping in a naturals store where I picked up a ginger lotion and peppermint essence for my sinus headaches. I don’t usually spend that kind of time shopping for me; it was so incredibly soothing: talking with my sweet friend, walking around in the beautiful sunshine that decided to stay in Boston for a while, and even taking the T, with its rocking rhythms as it jerks forward and later glides to a halting stop.
It was a sensory delight in every way: scents, sounds, sun, smooth mocha intake. I got my peace on in a big big way.
And then—then I came home to… Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: blessings, fort, fortresses of rocks, God's plans, God's provision, God's purposes, his bread will be given him, isaiah 33, Jeremiah 29, listening to God, place of defense, relationship with God, sensory integration, trusting God
As often happens when there are more than two minutes of quiet in my house (I didn’t say that quiet was often, though), I was reflecting on some relationships in my life that have been healed—and those still in the waiting place. I must be growing up because I find myself stressing less over what I don’t understand. Let’s face it: There are a lot of human communications I don’t understand. Really, I think I read my Shih Tzus better than people some days.
The only One to have the real perspective of both sides of a relational pain is God. Even if the other party explains it to us over coffee for two hours or phone calls for three days, there just isn’t enough of our selflessness to be able to get out of the way and walk fully in the other person’s shoes. Only Jesus, the Suffering Servant, felt everything we feel (the pains, sickness, and sins of all humanity) on the cross.
Isaiah 53:5, ESV, Isaiah the Prophet speaking
But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed.
Over the course of my life, I’ve had a hard time letting close relationships fizzle out, get stuck, be left in the Pride Place. Does that mean I live in perfect peace and never marinate in my own anger? No. But as tempting as it can be to just trot off and leave a mark of pain on someone who has hurt us, even passive-aggressively by going silent—Know folks who do this? It’s its own art form!—I take relational fail very seriously.
You know what I’m finding out?
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Tags: broken relationships, crushed for our iniquities, not leave you or forsake you, protecting our hearts, reconciliaton, relational healing, relational hurts, with his wounds we are healed
Lately, I was thinking about how much I love my hairstylist.
Because she does my hair so well? Well, she does, but that’s not why.
Because she offers kindness and seems to enjoy the challenge of shaping my mangled mess of thick, wiry waves? Well, that’s awesome too, but that’s not it either.
Because, quite simply, she lets me in.
She talks to me about deep subjects. She shares her mama angst and desire to raise a good son. And she lets me see glimpses of that beautiful Spirit God gave her…that heart she is letting Jesus shape.
I absolutely appreciate that we can talk about matters of faith together, but the reason I carry her around in my heart is more than that.
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Tags: began a good work, beyond our weakness, bring it to completion, connecting with community, doing good, encouragement, galatians 6:9, God supplies, hair stylist, hairdresser, helping others, intentionally living, introvert, let us not grow weary of doing good, living with intention, Philippians 1:6, rely on God, socially anxious, speak blessing
Oh my goodness! Did I just type the words “accepting help”? Did that make some of you cringe? I’m unfurrowing my brow right now as I read over it. It makes me want to scurry like a scared mouse into the nearest hole in my relationship wall and hide in the sideboards.
But what are the sideboards, really?
I would like to suggest they are pride!
A few weeks ago, I posted this little goody on social media:
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Tags: aaron and hur, accepting help, bear one another's burdens, being vulnerable, building community, building relationship, building trust, dangers of self-sufficiency, do not neglect to do good, exodus 17, galatians 6:2, Hebrews 13:16, hold up Moses's hands, importance of community, self-sufficiency
If you’re anything like me, you may start thinking about a grocery list for Easter dinner on Maundy Thursday, get in your car to brave the shopping crowds Friday, and possibly finish putting your menu together, setting out the ham Saturday night. (Since I think about coffee almost every waking minute, it completely amazes me that I often have to run out to buy something coffee-related the night before a holiday.)
Suffice it to say: I’m not always prepared. For a Sunday School lesson? Yes. The black suit and shirt that needs laundering for a high school band concert in three hours? No.
But, what if, just what if, I’m the one being prepared for something? Am I always aware of a loving God setting my footsteps?
Proverbs 16:9, ESV, King Solomon speaking
The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.
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Tags: anxiety, cancer, depression, Easter, go to prepare a place for you, in my Father's house are many rooms, john 14, Lord establishes his steps, Lord upholds his hand, Marshall Islands, mental health advocacy, personal cause, prepared, proverbs 16:9, psalm 37:23-24, relationship with God, Savior, steps of a man, struggles, trials
This past week, I came crashing into Thursday morning. Ever have one of those days/weeks/years? We’d experienced a few days of inflexibility, stress, and angst. There were a lot of extra appointments and assessments going on for one of my children, and the red flag of “I’ve had enough, Mom!” was going up.
And it’s not that I didn’t see it.
It’s that I didn’t want to. It was inconvenient. I was tired of setting things down for it. I was weary of red flags popping up everywhere, even though they are God-given safety measures I am truly thankful for most days.
As it turns out, when I failed to step up to the plate, my child knew what he needed without me.
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Tags: angst, anxiety, burden is light, God's rest, heavy laden, hypervigilance, mark 4:35, Matthew 11:28, peace! be still, rest, rest for your souls, safe harbor, safe shoreline, stress, the one who quiets the storms, vigilant, weariness, weary heart, yoke is easy
A close friend and mentor of mine taught me this cute little phrase: “Go lick a shut-up-sicle!” Now, I realize that can be offensive, so I try not to say that to people, and if you’re offended by “shut up” in any context, maybe it’s best you stop reading. But I do believe there is a place for this little phrase, and I’ve more or less come to adore it. Even around my Moms’ Prayer table every other week, we’ve come to have more than one giggle about it.
Why?
Because we do have the right to say this to a few things in our lives, and one of them is that haunting, sneaky voice: “You’re not worthy.”
Here are some versions we can hear in our own minds:
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Tags: Christ died for us, comparisons, condemnation, espressos of faith, God shows his love, imputed righteousness, insecurities, It is finished, no condemnation, not just on sundays, righteous requirement of the law, romans 5, romans 8, shut-up-sicle, while we were still sinners, worthiness, your tewksbury today
Lately I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed by people stepping across boundaries into each other’s lives where they may not belong. Ever feel that way? Sometimes, they are my own toes being stepped on, but often, I am merely witness to someone landing in another person’s courtroom without realizing it.
How did we become so good at grabbing the judge’s gavel and slamming it around?
I’m not talking about expressing public opinion on social, political, or spiritual issues. I’m referring to people jumping into our marriages, parenting, and family business without receiving an invite.
You know those little comments made half in jest or with a veil of concern? The ones that really have nothing behind them other than that person’s different standard, unsolicited opinion, or insecurity? It can look like this:
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Tags: 2 timothy 2, boundaries, breed quarrels, condemnation, courts with praise, created for good works, ephesians 2, gates with thanksgiving, grace, His presence, ignorant controversies, judging others, judgment, marriage, parenting, presence with singing, psalm 100, righteous judge
We walked hand in hand down Wright Avenue headed toward her home after a visit to the Five & Dime. I treasured my visits with Grandmom. Her hand was gnarly and warm, securing me somehow in decades of wisdom and life lived that I would not understand for many decades of my own. I guess on some level I knew her street of row homes was unsafe now, that her longtime homestead where she raised her family had become a place that sold dark—filled with poverty, broken families, addictions, violence, racial tensions, and a lack of hope.
☕ Espressos of Faith ☕ 
