Monthly Archives: October 2016

Letting Go: When We Enter a New Chapter

letting-go-when-we-enter-a-new-chapterThis past summer I spent a week packing boxes with dear friends of mine moving back East from the West Coast. We made many trips to used bookstores, donation centers, and the dumpster. We wrapped their lives up into 11 categories—little compartments of 49 years of marriage rolled into newspapers, bubble wrap, and cardboard.

Waiting to be opened on the other side of a house sale and cross-country move, each box was evidence of life well-lived—together, real, and raw—caught within memories, fondly received presents, mementos from vacations, mugs for special occasions, and dated photographs. A mere song on the radio triggered a reflective wave of “remember when.”

We laughed ourselves silly going through shelves of books at 2 AM—how difficult it was to part with those pages from scattered memories and loved ones over five decades. We sobbed over discovered treasures from their childhoods. While not always easy, life had been good to them. I could see the value placed in considering each piece of it.

So, I asked myself:

How do we pack a lifetime into one 12 inch x 12 inch x 12 inch square at a time?

And the overall decision awaiting us as we dragged packing materials into each room?

Keep, donate, or throw out?

My friend, the wife, had so much courage, incredible stamina, and amazing strength as she divided her life into categories and choices. How do you take a 49 year marriage and family life and split it into thirds? How do you give away your life? How do you decide what to save and what to let go of?

I don’t know, but as I watched her do it, I knew deep within me that it is something we must all do. Self-reflection and life sorting is not only healthy, but it also opens space.

I had to move into a new chapter recently, one I really didn’t want: Read the rest of this entry »


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Seeking Approval: He Still Looks for Me!


Sitting on some uncomfortable bleachers, wishing I had brought some kind of back support, I watched my youngest son swim laps with his class in Lawrence, MA, this past week. He has received swim instruction here for seven years. I don’t even have to tell them he has special needs because they are so good with every child. I’m convinced the program manager can see directly into the heart and inner workings of each child within the first few minutes. She has an amazing ability to meet each child where his or her fears are and identify strengths and weaknesses. She knows what is holding them back.


As I sat there in this rare moment observing Little Man at one of his happiest places—water—I wondered if I could get away with a few glances here and there to my Kindle. I thought I was being so sly, looking up whenever I anticipated it was his turn to work on a skill in a group of five children. My timing was almost perfect.

Lifting my eyes after reading a half-page, I noticed something I wasn’t expecting this time around: Even at 10 years old, becoming more independent by the minute, my Little Man

still looks for me!

After every accomplishment, he wanted to emerge from the water to meet my eyes. He counted on my silent nod, my approving smile—even my admiration.

And I asked myself this question: Read the rest of this entry »


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He Raises the Needy out of Affliction

he-raises-the-needy-out-of-affliction2Oh boy! Did that title catch your eye?

I hope it did! I think we all qualify as “the needy” from time to time. I certainly have!

It can (but does not necessarily) mean financial need, but it can also be emotional, medical, physical, spiritual, etc.

How are you “needy” today? Is everything copacetic? Nothing to complain about?

On one hand, if that’s true, I celebrate with you, but on the other hand, to some extent, we all have needs, so if we claim that, we are, well, um, kidding ourselves!

We may not be desperate right now, but there are a few things on our wish list. How could there not be?

  • God, please heal my child of this disease, this disability, this behavior.
  • Jesus, my marriage is a wreck. We are just, well—disconnected. Is he having an affair?
  • Lord, wow, I am really scared about my bills this month. What if they turn the heat off? It’s 20 degrees outside this week.
  • My child is hanging with the wrong set of friends and making bad choices. I need him to turn his life around.
  • I’m really scared my daughter is going to marry that guy. He’s not good for her.
  • My car is about to die, and I don’t have the money for another one right now.
  • I am being asked to do something dishonest at work, or I could lose my job. I need a way out of this.
  • I can’t get him to stop drinking.
  • I found porn on the computer and am not sure how to confront my family members.
  • I need more than that prescription is covering to manage my pain. I think I may be dependent.
  • Oh my goodness, I really miss him. Why did he have to die so young?
  • What if I never get pregnant? Will my husband still love me?
  • I forged a check once, and the law caught up with me. Now I’m afraid I’ll lose everything.

You get the idea.

Here’s the thing. Read the rest of this entry »


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