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In the Wreckage: Depression, Anxiety, and Jesus

In the Wreckage

This is a deeply personal piece. I wish it weren’t. I wish I had skipped over these genes in the gene pool. I wish mental health struggles didn’t ravage families, shooting out shrapnel like loaded cannons to anyone and everything around them trying to help.

And yet—they do.

My mental health journey started before we had children. Round One for me was setting right in my head what my heart mislearned along the way for a lot of reasons. At age 27, I was simply trying to make sense of adulthood and childhood, and mesh it all together. I needed to pull out the good I learned and discard the rest, like anyone else does at that age. That time, a therapist was helpful, but chemically I remained untreated.

Round Two was third-child-post-partum. It was short-lived, and I was fairly well supported by friends and my husband. It was a brief re-dip in a dark well. I had a lot to live for. My hormones simply were not cooperating.

Round Three almost killed me. We were on a tiny South Pacific island with three young children for two years. I spent my evenings biking around looking for a place to change my sense of desperate.

(Let me emphasize that I still had a lot to live for then. Three amazing, beautiful, spunky children and a loving husband. That had not changed.)

I was all the way around the world from all that I knew, living a fish-bowl military base, ex-pat lifestyle in a beautiful setting—only Read the rest of this entry »

 

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Opening the God-Designed Gift in Each of Us

Opening the God-Designed Gift in Each of UsMy kids and I have been participating in a local Vacation Bible School this week. As a group leader traveling around with a group of 14 third graders to all of their various centers (music, missions, craft, Bible, and recreation), I’ve had a very close-up view of not only each child but also the way in which they interact. While it’s a fun and loving environment, when you spend 17 hours of your week together, I can tell you that not every moment is smiles and lollipops. Character development is hard work!

As with family, we see our best and worst qualities. I can see how hard it is for some to fight temptations of pride, self control, or negative thinking, while others face the internal battle of putting others down, not taking turns, having to be the best, or bulldozing over others to get attention. Sound like adult qualities too? Um, yup! I see a few of those in myself daily!

But the amazing thing is:

I can also see the potential gifts and strengths hiding behind the areas of struggle.

Whether we’re 8 or 80 years old, Read the rest of this entry »

 

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