I had just sent a quick “Pray for us!” email to a mentor and friend in the middle of a very difficult crossroads in my life. There was a decision coming I had seen from a distance for a while but tried for two years to navigate around it—finding a different path—to avoid going through it.
And here we now were. My heart hurt as reality settled in. One of my children needed yet another intervention to smooth out the bumps in his road. It was a last resort for me. Not Plan A or B but really Z. “God, why are we going down that path? I told You that was not desirable!” (Um, in hindsight, that was rather arrogant of me!)
Within 5 minutes of my heart’s cry going out over email, this dear woman’s reply was as follows:
“We are praying for His grace and His calling on this tender-hearted warrior for God.”
What? A Warrior? Oh, wow. We couldn’t feel weaker than we do right now—more like at our wit’s end. What do you mean by warrior? Warriors have strength. Where is the might in this? I see us in a heap of surrender. I really don’t view this as a victory.
But that’s not at all what she was saying. She was conveying Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: 1 Samuel 14, 1 Samuel 14:7, armor-bearer, bearing arms, carrying burdens, coming alongside, helping others, Jonathan's armor-bearer, ministry, needing help, people God gives us, personal battles, veteran, veteran's day, warrior
I was in the middle of preparing for a new focus group at church, one that would offer support to parents of children with special education needs, physical disabilities, and mental health struggles. This plan had been on my heart for a year. I had prayed about it, researched it, pitched it to church leadership, and then let it fall into place bit by bit. With each step, I could see God’s hand in the go-ahead: the flyer, verbal announcement, sign-ups, parent survey, and soon, the first gathering.
As I watched this dream of mine take shape, I asked God which Scripture He wanted us to operate from as our starting place.
This is what He led me to:
Hebrews 10:23-25, ESV, anonymously written
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near (emphasis mine).
In the middle of my planning, I realized that this is what should motivate us in any endeavor—Christian-faith-based or not.
Isn’t it a beautiful mission statement for all groups, gatherings, meetings?
To stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another?
How many times do you think about this when you go into… Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: 1 Thessalonians 5:11, assemble, being intentional, build one another up, committee, created for good works, encouragement, gathering together, good works, Hebrews 10:23, IEP meeting, love and good works, meeting together, meeting with purpose, meetings, public meeting, stir up one another to love and good works, unity of purpose
Recently, I was sitting on the Boston T staring at the feet of many people. Wow, her toenails need painting, just like mine. Cool wedges…wonder where she got them? He is dressed to the nines. I wonder what he does? Does he like himself at the end of the day? Oh my, that child needs a new pair of sneakers for school; I hope his family can manage that.
I’ll admit I wasn’t looking at the whole person. I just was gazing at feet. I wasn’t trying to make assumptions. As a writer, I visually see things and then have a nonstop ongoing dialogue with myself in my head.
I also receive snippets from God throughout the week as to what to write about, and “subway” came through crystal clear.
The next day, at the suggestion of a sweet mentor, I was listing so many questions I have for God. I truly have more questions than answers. I don’t imagine He was exhausted from my list, but I sure was. And then an area I had been praying about for a while came into focus on a day when I was troubled that my father was so knocked down by chemo that he couldn’t continue the treatments that week.
I was so scared to carry out the actions I felt God was telling me to take with regard to another person. It was an area of constant rejection and pain. Am I tough enough for the response, God? Maybe we should try this at another time?
And there it was, plain as day: Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: anxiety, chemo, communicating with God, Give us this day our daily bread, God with us, God's provision, God's purposes, God's vision, God's will, hand of God, hand of Jesus, in earth as it is in heaven, matthew 6, more of heaven, on earth as it is in heaven, perfect peace, relationship with God, subway, talking to God, the Lord's prayer, thy will be done, trusting God, warm hand of Jesus
Ever feel like screaming:
“God, where ARE you? It’s the eleventh hour, and I’m beyond impatient waiting on you to show up!”
In a crisis situation, that desperate plea sounds pretty reasonable, right? We’re frantic, and we cry out. There’s nothing wrong with that. David did this repeatedly in the Psalms. God isn’t afraid of our honesty. In fact, He welcomes it.
Even so, there are four fundamental misconceptions with these statements, and believe me, I’m guilty of wrong belief myself!
- God is not with us.
- He might not respond, so we have to get His attention again.
- It really is the eleventh hour.
- It’s about us.
As for Number One, can I just say here that Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: 1 john 5:14, christ who lives in me, cross of Christ, Deuteronomy 31:6, down to the wire, eleventh hour, faith, galatians 2:19-20, God answers, God hears us, God with us, God's purposes, he hears us, He will not leave you or forsake you, immanuel, in the valley, It is finished, listening to God, Lord your God goes with you, matthew 1:23, relationship with God, rescue, time lords, trusting God, waiting on God, where is God
Happy September! I’m not sure where August went! Espressos of Faith is belatedly celebrating a Blogiversary! We opened up the site on August 3, 2014 and started posting August 15, 2014. I’ll never forget it because I was on vacation, and my web site manager and I said: “Okay, ready or not, here we come!” (I’ve since learned to put better margin in my life and not attempt huge undertakings while away to relax.) Not long after, by the amazing grace of God, Not Just on Sundays: Seeking God’s Purpose in Each New Day was published on October 1, 2014, a day shy of my birthday.
This summer, I’ve been keeping a weekly faith column at Your Tewksbury Today and slowed down in terms of adding content to the blog site. Personally, we had a challenging summer on several counts, and rest became a must.
In honor of a year of faithful readers, engaging conversations, and much-needed personal growth, Espressos of Faith will aim to post twice a week this month, hopefully posting a few guest bloggers along the way.
Thank you for coming alongside me and reading what my heart wants to communicate. I dedicate each post to the Great I AM, Whose hand I never want to let go of—not in the stormy seas and not even when the skies are clear and the air about me dancing with dragonflies. It’s the best hand I’ve ever held: The Warm Hand of Jesus on Cold Days of Doubt.
Blessings to you this September,
Bonnie
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Summer: A time when the family spends significant amounts of quality time together, regroups from the busy school year, checks every item off the year-in-the-making to-do list, and catches up on each other’s lives.
Sound good? Yes, yes it does.
But summer can also be a time when all problems shoved to the side by our busyness the rest of the year come rushing into that empty space like an angry brook moving so swiftly, it polishes pebbles along the way.
Only I’m the pebbles, and no matter how smooth I think I am, the water continues to force its way in and demand my attention.
Know what I mean?
We glided into July with a few weeks of calm. It was good to sleep in, not worry about schoolwork, and follow our whims about the schedule.
And then, like a gigantic, threatening, visible but still-out-to-sea tidal wave, suddenly every issue that had been building—some unbeknownst to me—piled on top of my head. When I thought maybe I had a handle on one area, another person in the family would point out another flaw in our relational dynamic. Not fun.
Pretty soon I was seeing not just the frayed edges, Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: being heard, call out for insight, crisis living, ear attentive to wisdom, family dynamics, God's repair, God's voice, healthy boundaries, healthy communication, hearing, inclining your heart, james 1:19, listening, proverbs 12:15, proverbs 2, quick to hear, slow to anger, slow to speak, understanding, voice of God, way of a fool, wise man
Today, I am very excited to once again feature guest blogger Tammie Wommack. She is a dear friend of mine and has regularly contributed to a series on Espressos of Faith: Guest Bloggers: Sharing More Stories of Hope and Courage.
Her continuing message of hope, healing, and even joy as she wades through the wreckage of losing her son in 2008 ministers and encourages in such significant ways. I’ve decided to dedicate an entire category to her story: Tammie’s Story: Child Loss and Suicide. My heart’s desire is that others in pain discover Tammie’s story and find healing in her words.
Yesterday was the 7th anniversary since her son Joshua left this world. I met Tammie right as these walls in her life came crashing down. God’s purposes for Tammie continue to be lived out as she and her husband Rick submit to being willing vessels of healing and ministry to others. The road has not been easy, but I love that Tammie asks the hard questions—the ones nobody wants to admit they ask—and she does it in writing for all of us to see how she works through them and how her faith informs her with an inexplicable peace amidst an unimaginable sorrow.
We post this blog today in honor of Joshua and all who suffer with suicidal thoughts. The internal battle is real, and the devastation they leave behind is significant. They are not forgotten. We also post this today to reach the hurting family members trying to make their way. May your pain find a voice in Tammie’s honest and vulnerable words, and may you know the healing balm she has found in her faith in Christ.
And now, here’s Tammie. May her words bring you peace, encourage faith in Christ, and/or offer a breath of help to your shared journey of repairing shattered hearts. Feel free to leave her a comment. She wants to connect with you. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: brokenhearted, child death, child loss, God's purposes, grief, grieving parents, honoring joshua, hope in Christ, joy after loss, loss of child, mourning, questioning God, suicide, suicide loss, tammie wommack, where is God, where is God when your child dies
My kids and I have been participating in a local Vacation Bible School this week. As a group leader traveling around with a group of 14 third graders to all of their various centers (music, missions, craft, Bible, and recreation), I’ve had a very close-up view of not only each child but also the way in which they interact. While it’s a fun and loving environment, when you spend 17 hours of your week together, I can tell you that not every moment is smiles and lollipops. Character development is hard work!
As with family, we see our best and worst qualities. I can see how hard it is for some to fight temptations of pride, self control, or negative thinking, while others face the internal battle of putting others down, not taking turns, having to be the best, or bulldozing over others to get attention. Sound like adult qualities too? Um, yup! I see a few of those in myself daily!
But the amazing thing is:
I can also see the potential gifts and strengths hiding behind the areas of struggle.
Whether we’re 8 or 80 years old, Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: areas of struggle, character development, created for good works, God's gifts, God's plans, God's purposes, grace is sufficient, power made perfect in weakness, refiner's fire, sanctification, social anxiety, strength in weakness, strengths, the gift inside, trusting God, vacation Bible school, walk in good works
Last weekend, I found myself drawing in heavy breaths from the weighty, humid Pennsylvania air, almost fighting against it with every inhale as the mugginess climbed my limbs and threatened to swallow me whole. We arrived at 80-something degrees and were leaving at 90-something. How did I ever live in the South Pacific for two years and bike 80 extra pounds in kids around in the trailer? When did I become so intolerant of the humidity?
These thoughts swirled around in my mind as I watched my 9 year old Little Man, the happiest he’s been in months, darting from one flagstone to another trying to find a bullfrog willing to reveal itself for a moment among the lily pads in the pond at my parents’ retirement community. It’s not for a lack of trying that he did not find an amphibian friend. We heard their throaty cries. I believe our cold-blooded friends didn’t want to raise half an eye above the cool water and shade of the lily pads to greet Little Man. And who could blame them in this heat?
As I let my eyes soak in the serenity of the calm pond water and marveled at the dragonflies dancing freely, living in the moment, I also envied the lily pads—anchored, yet fluid on the surface of the water. While I want to tango with dragonflies on my more adventurous days, as we wait out my father’s prognosis, I think I much prefer the safety of roots in the pond bottom, with only slight, gentle movements away from my anchor in small steps of trust: lily pad living at its finest!
The funny thing is: Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: abide in me, bullfrogs, cancer, dark night of the soul, dragonflies, endurance, eternal peace, faith, faith in Christ, Father's wings, ground yourself, I am the vine, John 15, laughter after pain, lily pads, living out faith, Nothing can separate us, peace of God, Psalm 91:4, Romans 8:38, strength, vine and branches, wisdom
The other morning I thought I’d start work early so I could spend most of my
day with the kids, who are now on summer vacation.
As I sat down on my IKEA chair, my Shih Tzu Delilah jumped up to sit at my feet on the ottoman. Her barrel-chested brother Samson, a few pounds heavier and a bit more awkward, couldn’t leap up to join her, so he pawed my arm and whined for several minutes until I heaved him up. This time he didn’t want her company. He wanted to be close to me.
He immediately resituated so he could lick my bare feet and then laid his soft, teddy-bear head against them.
I believe this was Samson’s way of snuggling in, receiving reassurance, tapping into my “master love.”
Oh, Samson, Buddy, what a parallel I draw here. Thank you for being my morning muse.
[Samson’s sister likes to lick laptops. Yeah, dogs are weird.]
How much I am like Samson! When I wake and know my Master is with me, Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: anxiety, deep love, everyday faith, fear, feet of Jesus, go in peace, holiness, Isaiah 52:7, kissed his feet, luke 7:36-50, Master's feet, OCD, peace, posture of worship, relationship with God, salvation, shih tzu, sit at His feet, the feet of him who brings good news, tween girls, wet his feet with her tears
We walked hand in hand down Wright Avenue headed toward her home after a visit to the Five & Dime. I treasured my visits with Grandmom. Her hand was gnarly and warm, securing me somehow in decades of wisdom and life lived that I would not understand for many decades of my own. I guess on some level I knew her street of row homes was unsafe now, that her longtime homestead where she raised her family had become a place that sold dark—filled with poverty, broken families, addictions, violence, racial tensions, and a lack of hope.
But when Grandmom walked down that street, heads of all colors looked up and spoke reverently: “Hi, Mrs. H!”
And her response? She’d know them by name and say: “Hey, Willis, how is your mother doing?” She showed them respect.
From what I remember, she absolutely felt confused and disheartened by the changes on her street—maybe at times even a little scared (she’d been mugged twice in her elder years). But she absolutely chose to stay, to not tremble or cower, and…
…to love.
As we started approaching a scene of a young teen couple arguing, and the boyfriend was punching his pregnant girlfriend in the stomach, I remember my grandmother not shying away from it. She didn’t move to the other side of the street. She walked us right past them. I honestly can’t recall if she had words in those moments or not. She may have. But as she approached, the Light of Christ she carried with her was enough to settle down the violence going on. He looked as though he had been caught in something and wore a look of shame. I had never seen anything like it. I was not more than a 10 year old child at the time, but
that scene has never left me.
I have no idea what happened after we passed. He could have gone after my grandmother for witnessing that, but he didn’t. He could have justified his own behavior by continuing to beat his girlfriend. I really don’t know. What I do know is that he could not keep offending when my grandmother was on the street.
Could not.
Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: 2 corinthians 4:6, created for good works, espressos of faith, Holy Spirit, illuminate Christ, John 1:4-9, John 8:12, let you light shine before others, light in the dark, light of Christ, light of life, light of the world, light shines in the darkness, matthew 5:14-16, relationship with God, shine out darkness, shining God's light, spiritual warfare, walking with God
I had just sent a quick “Pray for us!” email to a mentor and friend in the middle of a very difficult crossroads in my life. There was a decision coming I had seen from a distance for a while but tried for two years to navigate around it—finding a different path—to avoid going through it.
☕ Espressos of Faith ☕ 