About Bonnie Lyn Smith
Like anyone else, I have worn many hats: editor, speaker, columnist, Sunday School teacher, prayer warrior, traveler, depression fighter, child advocate, dance/band/robotics/karate/basketball mom, coffee server, foot-in-mouth socially awkward person, and, most recently, author. I hope, on my better days, I am mostly servant of Jesus, loving wife and mother, and devoted friend.
I’ll admit it. Part of me was terrified.
Sitting around the table with everyone who had assessed my child over the past few months, or in some cases—years—was intimidating.
What were they going to say? Were they going to kick him off the boat—not because they don’t want to help him—but because he ranked in need behind other kids when it came time to dividing up the special education pieces of the School Budget Pie?
I had come to find each of these specialists and staff members endearing in different ways. For better or worse, we had been contractually married for several years in the common cause of my son. We were linked, convenanted by legal documents and a mutual desire to help him.
But what if, once we got around that table, the budget dropped between the two sides of the table, dividing us abruptly in half like Moses parting the waters of the Red Sea? What if a former Ally in the Care of My Son now became a Defender of Policy, Keeper of the Budget?
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Tags: ADD, ADHD, anxiety, come and eat with me, depression, disabilities, disability, iep, mental health, occupational therapy, sensorimotor, sensory diet, sensory integration, sensory seeking, social-emotional, special education, visual memory, visual motor integration, visual perception, visual tracking
If you’re anything like me, you may start thinking about a grocery list for Easter dinner on Maundy Thursday, get in your car to brave the shopping crowds Friday, and possibly finish putting your menu together, setting out the ham Saturday night. (Since I think about coffee almost every waking minute, it completely amazes me that I often have to run out to buy something coffee-related the night before a holiday.)
Suffice it to say: I’m not always prepared. For a Sunday School lesson? Yes. The black suit and shirt that needs laundering for a high school band concert in three hours? No.
But, what if, just what if, I’m the one being prepared for something? Am I always aware of a loving God setting my footsteps?
Proverbs 16:9, ESV, King Solomon speaking
The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.
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Tags: anxiety, cancer, depression, Easter, go to prepare a place for you, in my Father's house are many rooms, john 14, Lord establishes his steps, Lord upholds his hand, Marshall Islands, mental health advocacy, personal cause, prepared, proverbs 16:9, psalm 37:23-24, relationship with God, Savior, steps of a man, struggles, trials
This past week, I came crashing into Thursday morning. Ever have one of those days/weeks/years? We’d experienced a few days of inflexibility, stress, and angst. There were a lot of extra appointments and assessments going on for one of my children, and the red flag of “I’ve had enough, Mom!” was going up.
And it’s not that I didn’t see it.
It’s that I didn’t want to. It was inconvenient. I was tired of setting things down for it. I was weary of red flags popping up everywhere, even though they are God-given safety measures I am truly thankful for most days.
As it turns out, when I failed to step up to the plate, my child knew what he needed without me.
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Tags: angst, anxiety, burden is light, God's rest, heavy laden, hypervigilance, mark 4:35, Matthew 11:28, peace! be still, rest, rest for your souls, safe harbor, safe shoreline, stress, the one who quiets the storms, vigilant, weariness, weary heart, yoke is easy
In honor of the Goodreads Giveaway (active until March 25th, 2015) of an autographed copy, “Espressos of Faith” reblogs an excerpt of “Not Just on Sundays: Seeking God’s Purpose in Each New Day.” Blessings!
☕ Espressos of Faith ☕
Espressos of Faith offers another excerpt (below) of Not Just on Sundays: Seeking God’s Purpose in Each New Day. One section of the book focuses on coffeehouse stories where life slows down to observation mode, and much can be reflected upon in both the quietness of being still and the white noise hum of sitting in a public space. A great amount of parenting is also done there—both my parenting of my own children and my listening to the Father parent me. Pull up a chair with me for a minute, and imagine (or remember) these moments with your own children. Take a minute to find some rest in your day. Thanks for joining me!
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I enjoy being in a coffee shop for…
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The other day I was in a local grocery store with my daughter. It was a few days before Saint Patrick’s Day, and the entire store was decked out in clovers and green décor. You could pick up clover cookies or a sparkly green cake from the bakery. Personally, I was hoping there was a pot of gold to be found. (After the energy bill this winter, I may as well throw my entire wallet to National Grid and be done with it!)
We Bostonians are admittedly a bit obsessed with this holiday. I had a hard time talking with my son’s elementary school teacher the other day because she had this cute headband-Irish-hat-thingy on her head, and it bounced while she nodded. I could not thereafter form one coherent thought while looking at her. Not one. But we Irish (and partly Irish) peeps have to represent, after all!
As we turned the corner of the second-to-last aisle of the store, there he was. He was on the shorter side, sporting a red wig, leprechaun hat, green suit, belt, and shoes.
And I had to talk to him. Really, when you find a leprechaun roughly 2 feet away from you, how can you not greet him? (My tween offspring may beg to differ.)
But I didn’t just chat. Nope. Didn’t stop there.
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Tags: book giveaway, dance competition, dancing with leprechaun, espressos of faith, every good gift, father of lights, father who loves to bestow, give good things to those who ask, God's presence, God's provision, goodreads giveaway, Irish jig, James 1:17, jig, leprechaun, matthew 7:7-11, not just on sundays, relationship with God, Saint Patrick's Day
I am so thrilled to be able to once again feature my sweet friend Tammie here at Espressos of Faith. Tammie’s life first touched mine when we both resided on the tiny island of Kwajalein in the Republic of the Marshall Islands. During that time, Tammie and her husband Rick experienced unfathomable loss, and ever since, their lives have been on an amazing trajectory to healing, hope, and even joy again! Life will never be the same, and Tammie is extremely honest about their painful journey; she readily admits that some days are extremely difficult. But she has found purpose again, and her heart beats to bring healing to other grieving parents. She wants to share how she and her husband are finding their way again. In the process, Tammie and Rick made a choice to forfeit regular income and steady jobs to travel around the country volunteering, giving back to others in celebration of the life of their son. As passionate as they are about suicide prevention, they are equally driven to love those left behind as they open up their lives to us, sharing their source of love, comfort, hope, and promise.
Without further introduction, here’s Tammie…
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For those who are asking if that is really my tattoo: Yes, it’s true.
“What are you thinking? You are not the kind of person who would get a tattoo.”
“You have to be kidding! That is not your style.”
“You know what people think about tattoos? You will be judged as soon as they see it.”
“Well, if it will make you happy, then do it—but I would never do it.”
These are some of the responses I received when I shared my desire to get a tattoo as a tribute to my son Joshua. They were all very kind in the way that they said it, and I truly knew that they were trying to comprehend something that was just outside all of our comfort zones.
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Tags: all to the glory of God, body is a temple, child loss, espressos of faith, families of suicide loss, glorify God in your body, grief, hope, hope in Christ, hope of Christ, joy, kwajalein, loss, loss of child, Marshall Islands, mourning, parent grief, suicide, suicide loss, tattoo
A close friend and mentor of mine taught me this cute little phrase: “Go lick a shut-up-sicle!” Now, I realize that can be offensive, so I try not to say that to people, and if you’re offended by “shut up” in any context, maybe it’s best you stop reading. But I do believe there is a place for this little phrase, and I’ve more or less come to adore it. Even around my Moms’ Prayer table every other week, we’ve come to have more than one giggle about it.
Why?
Because we do have the right to say this to a few things in our lives, and one of them is that haunting, sneaky voice: “You’re not worthy.”
Here are some versions we can hear in our own minds:
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Tags: Christ died for us, comparisons, condemnation, espressos of faith, God shows his love, imputed righteousness, insecurities, It is finished, no condemnation, not just on sundays, righteous requirement of the law, romans 5, romans 8, shut-up-sicle, while we were still sinners, worthiness, your tewksbury today
Lately I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed by people stepping across boundaries into each other’s lives where they may not belong. Ever feel that way? Sometimes, they are my own toes being stepped on, but often, I am merely witness to someone landing in another person’s courtroom without realizing it.
How did we become so good at grabbing the judge’s gavel and slamming it around?
I’m not talking about expressing public opinion on social, political, or spiritual issues. I’m referring to people jumping into our marriages, parenting, and family business without receiving an invite.
You know those little comments made half in jest or with a veil of concern? The ones that really have nothing behind them other than that person’s different standard, unsolicited opinion, or insecurity? It can look like this:
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Tags: 2 timothy 2, boundaries, breed quarrels, condemnation, courts with praise, created for good works, ephesians 2, gates with thanksgiving, grace, His presence, ignorant controversies, judging others, judgment, marriage, parenting, presence with singing, psalm 100, righteous judge
This was my post on social media this morning:
To crippling anxiety on the face of my child this morning: I’m about to kick your rear with a blog. If I could have come bounding across the basketball court to punch the living daylights out of you by speaking the peace of Christ and shining Light so the liar would flee, I would have, but I just quietly prayed. I’ll settle for shining the Light into a blog where people can see you for the cheating cowardly thief that you are with just a façade of power that stands on nothing because Christ has already defeated you on the cross. ‘Nuff said. #mamawontstoptillyouleave #youvebeenwarned #iknowthevictoranditisntyou
Tags: 1 john 4:4, anguish, anxiety, basketball game, Christ has defeated, he who is in the world, It is finished, peace, power made perfect in weakness, quiet prayer, sensory overload, stress, thief of peace, Upward
It’s been a while since I’ve hosted a guest blogger. Today, I am so excited to introduce you to a sweet new friend of mine in the blogosphere.
In her own words, “Heather G. created TheUrbaneFlower.com after being prompted to tell her story. Instead, she created the platform to encourage other women to share the goodness of God in their lives, in faith, so that we all could encourage one another.
Like us on Facebook & Follow Us on Twitter @TheUrbaneFlower.”
A few weeks ago, I invited her to share some of her heart here at Espressos of Faith. I love this beautiful piece she offered. I just know it will touch your heart as well.
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Tags: greater traveler's rest, i was hungry and you fed me, journey to God, matthew 25, ministry, opening our hearts, personal relationship with Christ, seeking heart, stop for the one, the urbane flower, to one of the least of these
I’ll admit it. Part of me was terrified.
☕ Espressos of Faith ☕ 