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When You’re in Pain: How to Make Holidays More Joyful, Part 1

when-youre-in-pain_-how-to-make-holidays-more-joyfulLast week, I dove straight into some of the reasons my own holidays can be painful. Since I know many people struggle this time of year, I thought it might be nice to turn the pain around and find ways to make this season better.

Next week I will address holiday celebration more directly, but for now, here are some basic non-festive suggestions to ease the pain.

1. If you can be around a pet of any kind, do it.

Seriously, pet therapy is so healing. If you have resident furballs already, you know what I’m talking about. I have two Shih Tzus who love to hang out on our laps, but during my darkest hours last winter, I enjoyed my friend’s Golden Retriever and Yellow Lab. They sensed my sadness and immediately came to me. The Golden maintained a protective stance and leaned into me the entire time. The mere weight of that was comforting and ministered to me.

Is it any wonder that animals are so good for the soul? They were created by God, and He “knows” them.

Psalm 50:10-11, ESV

For every beast of the forest is mine, the cattle on a thousand hills.

I know all the birds of the hills, and all that moves in the field is mine.

God uses animals to describe the coming peace that Christ (root of Jesse) will bring. Isn’t that beautiful?

Isaiah 11:6-10, ESV

The wolf shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the young goat, and the calf and the lion and the fattened calf together; and a little child shall lead them.

The cow and the bear shall graze; their young shall lie down together; and the lion shall eat straw like the ox.

The nursing child shall play over the hole of the cobra, and the weaned child shall put his hand on the adder’s den.

They shall not hurt or destroy in all my holy mountain; for the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the LORD as the waters cover the sea.

In that day the root of Jesse, who shall stand as a signal for the peoples–of him shall the nations inquire, and his resting place shall be glorious.

If you are allergic to pets, try cultivating a houseplant. I was given one when my father passed, and I’ve really enjoyed taking care of it and watching it grow. My younger son and I also grow a sunflower every summer. Working the ground is always good, so planting bulbs is possible this time of year—but hurry, Baby, it’s cold outside!

2. Nature watch.
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Journey to Joy: How Giving Back Brings Hope and Healing to Hurting Hearts

Journey to Joy-How Giving Back Brings Hope and HealingI am so thrilled to be able to share another part of Rick and Tammie Wommack’s story here at Espressos of Faith. I know these dear friends from my time spent in the Marshall Islands, a time when their world shattered into unbearable heartache. For anyone knowing or currently mourning tragic loss of any kind, this blog is for you. It’s also for others to understand the journey the heart takes in these hard circumstances—and the hope and healing that come through giving back. Thank you, Tammie, for being vulnerable so that others know where to get their bearing again and what life looks like on the other side, each day offering a choice as to how we will let ourselves be used for good. Tammie’s honesty and humility are so refreshing. What she offers us here brings my heart to this exact place, and I can’t wait to bring yours there too, if you’re willing to give it a read:

Psalm 27:3, King David speaking, NKJV 
I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living.

[After losing their son to suicide, Tammie and Rick made a choice to forfeit regular income and steady jobs to travel around the country volunteering. For Part 1 of this story, please refer to “Honoring Josh: A Mother’s Heart in the Aftermath of Suicide.”] 

Blessings!
Bonnie Lyn Smith, author of Not Just on Sundays

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Here’s Tammie….

The Interview

HOPE through FAITH and SERVICE to Others

Most of us travel through life just trying to get through it, not really realizing how what we do impacts others. We would like to think we are kind, generous, trusting, and all the things the Bible tells us a good and godly person should be.

The reality is we are busy: with work, families, finances, commitments, appointments, shopping, daily chores, and so many things on our to-do list that we are too tired to even think about how our actions, words, and deeds might be affecting others. I am confident that if you really contemplated this question and took the time to think about it, as I did this morning, you would find that most all of us impact others in our daily lives, no matter how busy they seem.

The questions then become:

Are we impacting them in a positive or negative way? 

Are we showing them an example of Christian love?

Can they see Jesus in us?

The other day while we were traveling through Iowa, I received a phone call from someone who wanted to write an article about Rick and me. They wanted to know how we got started on our Volunteer Journey: how we find volunteer jobs, what motivated us to choose this lifestyle, how we fund what we do, etc. Most of all they wanted cute, heartwarming stories about the people we helped—something that would really tug at the heartstrings of the readers.

I didn’t have any of those—heartstring stories to share. We do not really see the impact of what we do, but we know it does not diminish the importance to us on our journey.

This morning, as I was doing my devotional, I thought about her questions and my response (I’ll share my response later). I still couldn’t really think of any heartstring-tugging moments that are a result of what Rick and I do. Most of what we do is rarely even seen by other people.

It does, however, have a impact on us. And that is the real story.

We are healing and growing in Christ, learning every day to be more like Jesus and to help others just as Jesus would if He were living an everyday, “normal” life.

We are simply living a lifestyle that allows us to find joy again—a joy that we thought would never be ours.

In our hearts, we believe that we are saving lives when we teach water safety to young children.

We are keeping God’s house clean and getting it ready for visitors when we are working at the campground.

We enjoy doing all the little, behind-the-scenes details that have to be taken care of so that ministers and counselors can share the Word of God and lead children and adults to Christ.

So many of our volunteer jobs are just that: jobs. But in the work, we find hope and healing, God’s grace, and, yes, joy. We find joy in everyday living and in the wonderful people we meet, in the places we visit, and in the personal and quiet knowledge that what we are doing makes a difference and is part of God’s path for us.

By societal standards, we are not successful: We live in a camper, drive a very old truck, own few possessions, have very little money, and, yet, we find ourselves happier than we can ever remember being. We are rich in the knowledge that we are saved by grace and are following God’s plan for our lives. Through this grace, we have found:

Hope
Love
Forgiveness
Healing
Joy

So my response to the interviewer that day was more or less:

“This is not that kind of story. We are not outstanding people on a mission to help others. We are not looking for praise for all the wonderful things we are doing. We are certainly not missionaries.

It is not a story about the people we have helped. It is a story about how giving back has helped us.

We are simply ordinary people who have suffered a tragic loss and found healing through giving back. The story is really just that simple! We did not start out feeling that God had called us to go forth and help others. Our journey is one of evolution; we started out just running away from home and memories, not really sure what we were seeking but still very much stuck in our grieving. We finally realized (not both at the same time) what we were doing each time we were volunteering was actually helping us to move forward through our grief in to a life filled with purpose and hope. We began to heal and find joy again. It was not overnight; rather, it was a gradual process. We are still traveling that journey but believe that if we have any kind of story to tell, it is one of hope through Jesus Christ and healing through giving back.”

2 Samuel 22:29, author unknown, ESV
For you are my lamp, O LORD, and my God lightens my darkness.

I suspect that our story was not what she was looking for, although she did say she would send it to her editor. We are not looking for the spotlight to shine on us.

Isaiah 66:2, Isaiah the Prophet speaking, ESV
All these things my hand has made, and so all these things came to be, declares the LORD. But this is the one to whom I will look: he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word.

The only story we have is how this journey has helped us and, in turn, has helped others. That is what we hope to share and what we would like to spotlight for other parents and family members who are lost in the grieving process. Hope through faith and service to others will help you heal and find your joy in life again.

1 Timothy 4:10, Apostle Paul speaking, ESV
For to this end we toil and strive, because we have our hope set on the living God, who is the Savior of all people, especially of those who believe.

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A great resource for suicide prevention is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

To find out more about Tammie and Rick, you can read part of their story at http://www.gofundme.com/Giving-Back-For-Joshua.

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Honoring Josh: A Mother’s Heart in the Aftermath of Suicide

Honoring Josh--A Mother's Heart in the Aftermath of Suicide
I am so incredibly honored to give the first guest blog spot at Espressos of Faith to my dear friend Tammie Wommack. I know her from my time living in the Republic of the Marshall Islands. Tammie and Rick have turned deep loss into a path of healing by volunteering their time to help others. They gave up a regular income to live a nomadic lifestyle, going wherever God leads them to help others in need. They have done so much to raise suicide prevention awareness and comfort those experiencing such tremendous loss.
I had just met them when they were called off the island with unimaginable news, and I got to know them as they returned and started the difficult journey of living with their “new normal.” Tammie speaks from the heart and sheds some light on a mother’s thoughts and feelings a few years into this new chapter of life.
In light of the recent suicide of Robin Williams in the news, I felt it was a very good thing to hear the perspective of a mother. I hope we can get Tammie on Espressos of Faith from time to time to bring more understanding to this important issue, help us know what brings comfort to those left behind, and inform us further on suicide prevention awareness. 

Blessings!
Bonnie Lyn Smith, author of Not Just on Sundays

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Here’s Tammie…

A really good friend asked me a question the other day, and I had to process it before I could really understand it and realize the magnitude of the answer. Actually, the question came at a time when suicide was in the news and being talked about everywhere. Whenever that happens, I seem to rehash my own feelings of overwhelming grief and the moment I realized my child was dead. Then the stages of grief and learning to live again all rush past me so quickly. Now that some years have passed, this happens in an instant, and then I realize how blessed I am to be where I am now and not in the moment again. My heart always hurts for the families left behind and with the knowledge of the very long and painful process of healing they have in their future. So here goes my response to that thought-provoking question:
 
“Have you found that anything good has come out of Joshua’s death?”
At first, I really didn’t know how to respond—because I heard the question in the wrong way. I said, “Do you mean am I glad Joshua is dead?” And then I quickly responded with an answer about our life now. Well, of course they did not mean it that way, but a mom is so quick to want to protect no matter what, and somehow, I always have the guilt of his death uppermost in my mind; it colors my thoughts and actions a lot of the time.

Now as I process that question and understand what it means—and the intent with which it was asked—my answer is a resounding: “YES!!!”

Rick and I have found a new direction and a deeper meaning to our lives. We believe that our efforts to honor Joshua have resulted in making a difference in other people’s lives. We, as a couple, are closer, and we cherish our families and time together. We both have a deeper and more meaningful relationship with Christ and have learned to depend on Him for everything. We have been humbled, to be sure, but we love life and all that it entails: both the good and the bad. Our families still do not understand our deep desire to give back; they see it as a decision to quit working, especially on Rick’s part, and truly, in the beginning, we were just running from our grief with no real plan. But God has opened the door, and we have stepped through it!!! We are not regretting our decision to give up so much because we have gained even more. We live on a very limited income, but we LIVE it to the fullest. Small things now are so much more important to us: time with family, being thankful for the little things, grasping with both hands the beauty of whatever place God allows us to view.

Our advice to everyone is: Don’t wait until it is too late to love the ones in your life whom God has blessed you with. Don’t sweat the small stuff. (I know that was a book; maybe I need to re-read it.) Always try to help whenever and wherever you can. Embrace and be thankful for what you have, and most of all, give God the glory in everything that you do.

God Bless,
Tammie

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To find out more about how you can help Tammie and Rick help others, please read their story at http://www.gofundme.com/Giving-Back-For-Joshua

A great resource for suicide prevention is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

 

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