I came home the day before Mother’s Day from a long-overdue visit with a friend. We had a lovely time as she introduced me to her favorite chocolate shop in Cambridge. I enjoyed an iced milk chocolate (yes, indeedy—that specific!) mocha with the purest chocolate I’ve ever tasted. It slid down my throat like silky cocoa sweetness with a “Yippee!” as it landed. It was vacation in a cup.
We tooled around a bit, stopping in a naturals store where I picked up a ginger lotion and peppermint essence for my sinus headaches. I don’t usually spend that kind of time shopping for me; it was so incredibly soothing: talking with my sweet friend, walking around in the beautiful sunshine that decided to stay in Boston for a while, and even taking the T, with its rocking rhythms as it jerks forward and later glides to a halting stop.
It was a sensory delight in every way: scents, sounds, sun, smooth mocha intake. I got my peace on in a big big way.
And then—then I came home to… Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: blessings, fort, fortresses of rocks, God's plans, God's provision, God's purposes, his bread will be given him, isaiah 33, Jeremiah 29, listening to God, place of defense, relationship with God, sensory integration, trusting God
[This blog was first a featured column at Your Tewksbury Today on Mother’s Day.]
I thought about writing a Mother’s Day piece. I really did. But as awesome as that sounded to me, it ruled out so many people. I appreciate these Hallmark holidays in some ways, but I also know that for many, days like today can be difficult reminders of dreams yet unfulfilled or even crushed, or of family relationships that haven’t been or aren’t what they should be. Without going into the many manifestations of that, I wanted to address the pain, frenzy, panic, and weariness out there today. I’m going to lay it bare.
We may not all have our Sunday best on, with a handful of flowers, reservations at the local restaurant, gifts on the counter, and a trip planned to see family. Maybe this week was full of pulling ticks off kids, walking in late to that work meeting, facing three days of piled dishes at once, a car that wouldn’t start, a kid who mouthed off, a relationship that looked like it was heading toward marriage and abruptly broke off, a bad job review, a betrayal of some kind. Maybe it was an argument with a loved one, a bad report card, a miscommunication with your spouse that doesn’t feel like any “Hallmark moment”—or holiday, for that matter—that you’ve ever experienced before.
Mother or no mother, maybe your week doesn’t feel like walks in the sunshine and tea with biscuits.
Maybe your week chewed on some rocks, spit them out, and crunched down on them again.
Let’s be honest: Sometimes, we simply go off the rails.
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Tags: at the rails, brokenhearted, frenzy, Jesus in the storms of life, lift my eyes up, Lord is near, nothing can separate us from the love of God, off the rails, psalm 121, psalm 34, relationship with God, Romans 8:38, shade on your right hand, spiraling, talking with God, the Lord is your keeper, weary, weary hearts, where does my help come from, where is God
As my youngest child was getting ready for school, I had an e-conversation with my sister-in-law. As I often do when I am reading someone’s story, I tried to imagine what it’s like to have one child graduating high school this year and another one doing the same a year later. I could picture it, but it was surreal to me. It’s not my current transition. But it is hers.
My whole year has been an extended transition: One child entered high school while one started middle school. Every day, I switch gears between fellow high school-er parents talking about student drivers and SAT prep and the typical middle school concerns of “mean girls” and safe texting guidelines. Meanwhile, I’m still in the “playdate” phase of raising my third child.
Some days, all I seem to do all day is transition: at-home responsibilities, writing, arranging appointments, taxi driving, counseling the one quickly approaching adulthood, and navigating the social wrecking ball that is middle school. (I’m convinced that once you survive middle school, you have the thick skin needed to go directly into the military or a career in psychology!)
As I write this in the early morning, coffee half-consumed, my iCalendar keeps popping up with new band performances and rehearsals. It’s comforting to “hear” from my oldest son, if even through a brief data entry about yet another place I have to drive him.
Maybe this title should be about interruptions and not transitions, but wait!
Aren’t they often the same thing?
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Tags: being prepared, dreams interrupted, God's plans, interrupted plans, interruptions, Jeremiah 29, Joshua 1:9, Moses, not just on sundays, preparing for something, transition, transitions
Nothing quite says “laptop” like the local coffeehouse. It’s one of my favorite places to flip that puppy open and work on social media marketing, read articles about the publishing industry, check out a new profile on LinkedIn, or pin that recipe. I’ll admit, when I’m “taxi parent,” I flip it open more frequently at the karate dojo, in the car outside the dance studio, or at the occupational therapist’s office waiting on my son.
But I was at home one day when I started settling into a good writing groove in my favorite-and-very-old IKEA chair, feet propped up on the ottoman. Suddenly, I heard some slurpy noises. As I peered around the screen of my laptop, it turns out that the Almighty Glowing Apple was getting a good lick on the other side of my creative mind flow.
I hadn’t even noticed my Shih Tzu Delilah by my feet showing her puppy affection for my MacBook Pro. She has a way of claiming space on the ottoman like a stealth fighter pilot. (Meanwhile, her brother Samson was on his bed, as usual, sending peaceful snores into the air to a rhythm that sounds so much like “Billy Jean” that I keep looking for the trademark white glove. Pretty sure I saw him slide backward with each snuffle, though.)
My dogs would lick every inch of our arms, faces, feet, etc., if we let them. There are several different reasons why dogs lick. I think my dogs primarily show affection that way.
But, why, oh why, did my 12-pound Shih Tzu lick my laptop?
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Tags: burden is light, distractions, ecclesiastes 3, eternity into our hearts, faith in God, feeling empty, filling a void, fulfillment, laptop, MacBook Pro, Matthew 11:28-30, purpose, relationship with God, shih tzu, soul hunger, striving, true fulfillment, walk with God, yoke is easy
As often happens when there are more than two minutes of quiet in my house (I didn’t say that quiet was often, though), I was reflecting on some relationships in my life that have been healed—and those still in the waiting place. I must be growing up because I find myself stressing less over what I don’t understand. Let’s face it: There are a lot of human communications I don’t understand. Really, I think I read my Shih Tzus better than people some days.
The only One to have the real perspective of both sides of a relational pain is God. Even if the other party explains it to us over coffee for two hours or phone calls for three days, there just isn’t enough of our selflessness to be able to get out of the way and walk fully in the other person’s shoes. Only Jesus, the Suffering Servant, felt everything we feel (the pains, sickness, and sins of all humanity) on the cross.
Isaiah 53:5, ESV, Isaiah the Prophet speaking
But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed.
Over the course of my life, I’ve had a hard time letting close relationships fizzle out, get stuck, be left in the Pride Place. Does that mean I live in perfect peace and never marinate in my own anger? No. But as tempting as it can be to just trot off and leave a mark of pain on someone who has hurt us, even passive-aggressively by going silent—Know folks who do this? It’s its own art form!—I take relational fail very seriously.
You know what I’m finding out?
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Tags: broken relationships, crushed for our iniquities, not leave you or forsake you, protecting our hearts, reconciliaton, relational healing, relational hurts, with his wounds we are healed
Lately, I was thinking about how much I love my hairstylist.
Because she does my hair so well? Well, she does, but that’s not why.
Because she offers kindness and seems to enjoy the challenge of shaping my mangled mess of thick, wiry waves? Well, that’s awesome too, but that’s not it either.
Because, quite simply, she lets me in.
She talks to me about deep subjects. She shares her mama angst and desire to raise a good son. And she lets me see glimpses of that beautiful Spirit God gave her…that heart she is letting Jesus shape.
I absolutely appreciate that we can talk about matters of faith together, but the reason I carry her around in my heart is more than that.
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Tags: began a good work, beyond our weakness, bring it to completion, connecting with community, doing good, encouragement, galatians 6:9, God supplies, hair stylist, hairdresser, helping others, intentionally living, introvert, let us not grow weary of doing good, living with intention, Philippians 1:6, rely on God, socially anxious, speak blessing
I had a silent prayer on my heart this week. I had about three topics in my head to write about but no time to write them. And then in came this blog from my sweet friend Tammie. I had literally just tweeted a former blog of hers about joy 30 seconds before her message arrived in my in-box. What provision! Right on time!
Tammie has contributed several times to Espressos of Faith this year. I consider her part of the blog team. I believe so much in what she writes about that I have given her blog topics a board on my Pinterest page and regularly remind people on social media of her articles. She writes to bring hope, healing, and joy to those with child loss of any kind, sharing her particular journey of loss (to suicide), but what she writes is for all of us—because there is always someone out there hurting who needs us, and because we all know pain, sorrow, and despair from time to time. Tammie is an incredible encourager who wants to honor the life of her son Joshua by ministering to and loving on hurting hearts out there. She is an amazing vessel used by God to reach some of the most painful places a parent could ever go.
If this touches you, please leave a comment for Tammie. She genuinely wants to connect with you. And feel free to share, tweet, and pin her encouragement so others can read about finding joy again too.
Here’s Tammie…
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Tags: 1 Thessalonians 4, child loss, devastating loss, finding joy, grief, grieving parents, hurting mothers, joy after grief, joy after suicide loss, relationship with God, Romans 8:28, suicide loss
I’ll admit it. Part of me was terrified.
Sitting around the table with everyone who had assessed my child over the past few months, or in some cases—years—was intimidating.
What were they going to say? Were they going to kick him off the boat—not because they don’t want to help him—but because he ranked in need behind other kids when it came time to dividing up the special education pieces of the School Budget Pie?
I had come to find each of these specialists and staff members endearing in different ways. For better or worse, we had been contractually married for several years in the common cause of my son. We were linked, convenanted by legal documents and a mutual desire to help him.
But what if, once we got around that table, the budget dropped between the two sides of the table, dividing us abruptly in half like Moses parting the waters of the Red Sea? What if a former Ally in the Care of My Son now became a Defender of Policy, Keeper of the Budget?
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Tags: ADD, ADHD, anxiety, come and eat with me, depression, disabilities, disability, iep, mental health, occupational therapy, sensorimotor, sensory diet, sensory integration, sensory seeking, social-emotional, special education, visual memory, visual motor integration, visual perception, visual tracking
This past week, I came crashing into Thursday morning. Ever have one of those days/weeks/years? We’d experienced a few days of inflexibility, stress, and angst. There were a lot of extra appointments and assessments going on for one of my children, and the red flag of “I’ve had enough, Mom!” was going up.
And it’s not that I didn’t see it.
It’s that I didn’t want to. It was inconvenient. I was tired of setting things down for it. I was weary of red flags popping up everywhere, even though they are God-given safety measures I am truly thankful for most days.
As it turns out, when I failed to step up to the plate, my child knew what he needed without me.
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Tags: angst, anxiety, burden is light, God's rest, heavy laden, hypervigilance, mark 4:35, Matthew 11:28, peace! be still, rest, rest for your souls, safe harbor, safe shoreline, stress, the one who quiets the storms, vigilant, weariness, weary heart, yoke is easy
The other day I was in a local grocery store with my daughter. It was a few days before Saint Patrick’s Day, and the entire store was decked out in clovers and green décor. You could pick up clover cookies or a sparkly green cake from the bakery. Personally, I was hoping there was a pot of gold to be found. (After the energy bill this winter, I may as well throw my entire wallet to National Grid and be done with it!)
We Bostonians are admittedly a bit obsessed with this holiday. I had a hard time talking with my son’s elementary school teacher the other day because she had this cute headband-Irish-hat-thingy on her head, and it bounced while she nodded. I could not thereafter form one coherent thought while looking at her. Not one. But we Irish (and partly Irish) peeps have to represent, after all!
As we turned the corner of the second-to-last aisle of the store, there he was. He was on the shorter side, sporting a red wig, leprechaun hat, green suit, belt, and shoes.
And I had to talk to him. Really, when you find a leprechaun roughly 2 feet away from you, how can you not greet him? (My tween offspring may beg to differ.)
But I didn’t just chat. Nope. Didn’t stop there.
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Tags: book giveaway, dance competition, dancing with leprechaun, espressos of faith, every good gift, father of lights, father who loves to bestow, give good things to those who ask, God's presence, God's provision, goodreads giveaway, Irish jig, James 1:17, jig, leprechaun, matthew 7:7-11, not just on sundays, relationship with God, Saint Patrick's Day
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