Just as I was wondering: “What will I write for Mother’s Day?” my friend Tammie Wommack sent me a message that she wrote a piece communicating what her heart wants to say to children and mothers out there about what’s really important on this Hallmark holiday. You see, Tammie has known the incredible grief of losing a child, and as her head comes up from feeling shoved under the water for so long to catch some air, her perspective brings tremendous clarity. As I was about to get this piece up on the blog site, Tammie messaged me one more time with her overriding heart’s cry:
“Moms want their kids to let them know how they’re doing as a mom. I so wanted reassurance when Joshua died that I had been a good Mom.”
I’m so grateful God put this on Tammie’s heart this Mother’s Day. She has allowed herself to be a vessel to bring hope, love, and strength to others on what is surely a painful holiday. I just love that she is willing to serve us through her very difficult walk in life.
[Please know that Tammie and I both recognize that not every mother has been who she needed to be with the call on her life to nurture a child. We know that some women out there miss their mothers who have already passed from this life. We acknowledge that some women are yearning to be moms and have their dreams yet unfulfilled. Some ladies may be waiting for rebellious children to show their appreciation, and it looks to be a long wait. While we acknowledge these very real and difficult situations, we also agree that there are other women in our lives whom God gives us who could benefit from Tammie’s “make the time count now and show your love” message. If Mom (or being a mom) isn’t your reference point, may I suggest you read this with an influential person in your life in mind. I just know you’ll be blessed. And if you’ve known the incredible heartache of losing Mom or a child, take some peace, healing, and comfort from what Tammie has to say. It’s for all of us, really.]
And here again, amazing us with her joy and deeply rooted wisdom, is Tammie…
“Spoil your mom this Mother’s Day with a trip to the spa!”
“We have just what your mom wants for Mother’s Day at our jewelry store!”
“Let Mom know how much you love her by giving her flowers!”
Every advertisement promises that its product is just what you need to show your mom that you love her and to make her day special.
Yes, it is that time of year again. All of the sale ads are appearing in the paper and the commercials on TV:
- Even furniture(!)
The list is endless, and they all promise to be just what Mom wants and needs to know she is loved and special on her special day. As a Mom, believe me, I love all of those things at any time of the year.
But—is it what a mom really wants from her child or children on Mother’s Day?
Is it what I want from my son Brian?
As I sit here thinking about the approach of another Mother’s Day without my Joshua (I said my last physical goodbye to him on this day before he left this world, but that is for another blog), it occurs to me that one of the most important things I wanted to know about Joshua after he died was that
he knew how much I loved him
and that he loved me.
This was beyond knowing that he had accepted Christ and was in heaven where I would meet him again one day.
3 John 1:4, ESV, Apostle John speaking
I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.
I needed reassurance that he loved me. I can remember asking so many of his friends:
“Do you think he knew how much I loved him?”
I was always so relieved when they would respond with:
“Yes, he knew.”
Moms want to know that they are loved too.
I like to imagine Joshua up there watching over me and now having a bird’s eye view of all the crazy things his mom is dong these days. I know he has to be laughing. And as for Brian, my other son, whom sometimes might feel overshadowed by the feelings I am always sharing about Joshua: I don’t want him to think I love him any less. I want him to know how proud of him I am and of all of the things he has accomplished in his life so far—
—and that I am going to always be cheering for him no matter what.
But I am digressing from the subject of what I think mothers really want on Mother’s Day. While moms love to receive cards, letters, candy, flowers, and gifts on Mother’s Day, children do not need to spend money on those things to give a mom the most special gift of all:
What I think moms want most of all is to know that
you love them
and to know that
you understand just how much your mother loves you.
She wants to know that you recognize your mom as someone who has loved you all your life and will love you like no one else on this earth until the day she takes her last breath—
—and then she will be loving you from afar in heaven.
1 Corinthians 13:13, ESV, Apostle John speaking
So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
She wants to know that you are happy and feel secure in the knowledge that you will be able to take care of yourself and your own family after she journeys home to our Father in heaven.
And most of all, your Mom wants you to tell her that
you love her.
So this Mother’s Day, call your mom. Tell her you love her. If you live close by, visit her; hug her. She will cherish that memory so much more than the memory of flowers, candy, jewelry, or any of the many things that our world promises will make her day special.
Every child has it within his/her power to give Mom that perfect gift—at absolutely no cost beyond a phone call or a visit.
— Bonnie Lyn Smith (@BonnieLynSmith) May 6, 2015
A great resource for suicide prevention is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
To find out more about Tammie and Rick, you can read part of their story at Giving-Back-For-Joshua.
Here are a few more places where Tammie shares her heart:
Honoring Josh: A Mother’s Heart in the Aftermath of Suicide
Journey to Joy: How Giving Back Brings Hope and Healing to Hurting Hearts
Would You Do Anything to End the Pain of Grief? Even Give Up Loving Memories?
Why Grieving Mothers Find Comfort in a Tattoo
Let God Be Your Handhold to Joy
*This post has been shared at Grace & Truth, Mom 2 Mom Monday Link-Up, Make a Difference Mondays, Simply Inspired Wednesdays, RaRa Linkup, Blessing Counters, Saturday Soirée Blog Party, A Little R & R, Coffee & Conversation, Dance With Jesus, and Christian Mommy Blogger.