The other morning I thought I’d start work early so I could spend most of my
day with the kids, who are now on summer vacation.

As I sat down on my IKEA chair, my Shih Tzu Delilah jumped up to sit at my feet on the ottoman. Her barrel-chested brother Samson, a few pounds heavier and a bit more awkward, couldn’t leap up to join her, so he pawed my arm and whined for several minutes until I heaved him up. This time he didn’t want her company. He wanted to be close to me.

He immediately resituated so he could lick my bare feet and then laid his soft, teddy-bear head against them.

I believe this was Samson’s way of snuggling in, receiving reassurance, tapping into my “master love.”

Oh, Samson, Buddy, what a parallel I draw here. Thank you for being my morning muse.

[Samson’s sister likes to lick laptops. Yeah, dogs are weird.]

How much I am like Samson! When I wake and know my Master is with me, I practically want to climb inside His skin.

The world is a dark, scary, sad place some days.

It’s a place where I have to think about the few years left until my oldest son heads out there to fend for himself, but I still have so many lessons I hope to teach him.

Out “there,” tween girls, my daughter’s peers, practically draw blood in self-esteem battles, one-upmanship, and friendship maneuvering. They crush each other to get better footing and then hug-cry it out, leaving a few scars along the way. Sometimes they never grow out of it, and they become moms who hurt each other over whose child got the dance solo or the soccer award this year.

Away from my Master, anxiety slithers around, grows reptilian feet, and suddenly attaches itself to my heart as I watch it thrash my small son around while he tries to achieve balance among sensory needs, attention deficits, and sudden bouts of OCD.

Like Samson, I essentially long to velcro myself to my Master. I want my head perpetually attached to His feet. I yearn to be in a position of constant worship, with head bowed,

because in that place, I feel
safe,
humble,
ready to receive what my Master would give me.

Luke 7:36-50, ESV, Luke the Physician narrating

One of the Pharisees asked him to eat with him, and he went into the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. 

And behold, a woman of the city, who was a sinner, when she learned that he was reclining at table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of ointment, and standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head and kissed his feet and anointed them with the ointment.

Now when the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner.”

And Jesus answering said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” And he answered, “Say it, Teacher.”

“A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?”

Simon answered, “The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt.” And he said to him, “You have judged rightly.”

Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven–for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.”

And he said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”

Then those who were at table with him began to say among themselves, “Who is this, who even forgives sins?”

And he said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

Oh, Jesus, do You see my tears? Do You see me collapse at Your feet and just want to be near You, breathing in Your peaceful scent of holiness, Your deep love for me, Your acceptance?

Can You see how much I ache over my sin and need to believe Your forgiveness, Your intercession on my behalf?

Do You know how much I feel so ill-equipped for marriage challenges, parenting battles, work goals, relationship stumblings, temptation land mines, fears, grief?

Master, do You see how if I could get closer to You, I would? Thank You for Your death and resurrection so that I can reside with You someday. I want to live in a constant state of awe at having access to a holy God, a mighty Savior Who already conquered so I can enjoy forever peace.

But, Lord, Master, this side of heaven,

I’m afraid to leave Your feet.

I can see why the woman Luke referred to was stuck there for a time. I can understand how desperately she clung to You.

Yet, You told her that her faith had saved her.

You told her to “Go in peace.”

We aren’t supposed to remain at Your feet right now, are we? We’re supposed to face the dragons in the hurting world to put out the fires, to quench the thirsty.

Your feet are a great place to regroup, to refresh, to recuperate, to revisit, but we’re supposed to show a dark world how to sit at Your feet, aren’t we?

We’re supposed to be Your feet!

Isaiah 52:7, ESV, Isaiah the Prophet speaking

How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness, who publishes salvation, who says to Zion, “Your God reigns.”

Oh, God: You want us to be the “feet of him who brings good news.” You want us to publish Your peace and salvation.

And then, when we get weary or need a little reassurance, we can touch back into Your power, love, and security while You bestow upon us strength, courage, hope, peace, love, and perseverance
to get back out there
and do it again.

Jesus, help me to remember to start with my head on Your feet each day
and then to get back up and love on the world
because You did,
and they need You—
—desperately.

“How beautiful upon the mountains are the #feetofhim who brings #goodnews.” #Isaiah52_7

— Bonnie Lyn Smith (@BonnieLynSmith) June 28, 2015

*This blog was first a featured column at Your Tewksbury Today.

**It has also been shared at any link highlighted here: Mom 2 Mom Monday Link-Up, Make a Difference Mondays, Pick Your Pin Tuesday, Women With Intention Wednesdays, Grace & Truth, A Little R & R, RaRa Link-Up, Me, Coffee & Jesus, Dance With Jesus, Blessing Counters, Coffee & Conversation, , Saturday Soiree, Tell His Story, Find Stability, So Much at Home, Faith-Filled Fridays, Reflect His Love and Glory Link-Up, and Christian Mommy Blogger.

More anecdotal stories about an everyday relationship with God can be found in Not Just on Sundays: Seeking God’s Purpose in Each New Day (includes Book Club Discussion Questions).